In our existence the question arises: what are we here for? What is the meaning of life? The Dalai Lama says that the purpose of our life is to seek happiness.
This is not only beneficial for ourselves but also for others, as happy people contribute to a better world, because of their way of responding to life.
Happiness can be achieved by training the mind. Because mostly it's not the conditions that decide whether we are happy or not, but how we perceive a situation and how we react to it.
We must look at our behaviour and observe it. We need to realize that negative emotions and actions are harmful for us and the world and that positive ones are beneficial. This will lead us to a determination to increase our positive feelings and behaviours.
After this realisation there are practical steps we can take towards a happier life.
Start by identifying the factors 1. that lead to suffering and eliminate them, 2. that lead to happiness and cultivate them.
Be patient, because change and learning take time. But through consistent training we really can transform ourselves. Our braines are adaptable and always changing so we can use that to reshape our cells and therefore the way our mind works.
A very important factor is discipline. We need to make a steady effort as transformation doesn't happen over night but it takes time. Also we should set realistic goals to not be discouraged.
If we change our behaviour we can also change our attitude.
For example try to get up in the morning and develope a positive attitude by thinking that you will use this day in a positive way and that you won't waste it.
Time is something precious as we don't know how much we're given. We don't know if we will be here at this time tomorrow. So utilize it wisely.
If we train warmth, kindness and compassion our life becomes more meaningful and peaceful and therefore happier.
Also feelings of love, compassion, and affection are benefical to our health. Feelings of frustration, fear, anger and hatred can be destructive to our health.
To feel compassion, empathy is an important factor. Try to see a situation from someone elses perspective. It is helpful to understand the background of people around you. Also openmindedness and honesty are useful qualities there.
Another way to feel compassion is by looking for things in common. One thing we all have in common is, that we all want to be happy and don't want to suffer. This way to look at others creats connection.
Also sharing personal things helps us to connect on a deeper level. So it's easier to make real friends, deep bonds and not stay on a superficial level. It creates intimicy and therefore a feeling of closeness.
Compassion shouldn't be confused with attachement. Because this is connected with the feeling of controlling or loving someone with the goal, that this person will love you back. A relationship based on that is unstable.
By dealing with suffering, we first should accept suffering as a natural fact of human existence and couragely face our problems directly.
Naturally we have a aversion of pain and suffering. But if we can transform the attitude of feeling treated unfairly into a tolerance of suffering it can help us a lot, because we don't fight against it.
The only person we harm by focussing on our suffering is oneself, because this is unnecesary additional suffering. Also if we take things too personally we harm ourselves. If we suffer, it can help us to think about, that we're not the only one in such a situation and that we therefore are not alone with our suffering.
In terms of dealing with worries one way is to replace fear-generating thoughts with positive ones.
If a problem arises, we can analize the situation and ask ourselves if there is a solution. If there is, there is no need to worry. If not, there is also no need to worry, because we can't change it anyway and should focus on accepting it, as soon as possible.
If we always try our best, there is no need of fearing failure, because we did all we could. We can even feel good, as we made all the effort possible for us.
Being honest about what we can and what we are not capable of, helps to create self-confidence, as we don't need to fulfill unrealistic expectations. This is not a weakness but a realistic view on our abilities and proof of self-knowledge. We are no superheroes, so we can not perform better than our personal best.
When it comes to anger and hatred we should focus an practising patience and tolerance. Because if we react with anger, we cause only more harm. It isn't productive in any way.
Patience and tolerance result in forgiveness which is a key factor to find peace with a situation. If we analize a past situation, that caused us pain, the only thing we can do to not cause more unhappiness, is to let go and forgive.
As all things change, so also problems change and don't persist.
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